Sex Addiction

Sex is the greatest fun an individual can have without love but the worst meeting one can have without dying.

Date: 31^st December 2018

Venue: Othaya Boys High School

Presenter: Titus Nderitu

Sex is a silent epidemic.

Key Points;

-Sex is the greatest fun an individual can have without love but the worst meeting one can have without dying.

-Sex is trouble for both animals and humans. Animals e.g. dogs fight over sex and the same applies to human beings.

-The only animal that uses sex for fun is humans. Other animals use it for procreation.

-Sex addiction is never dictated by one’s status and can affect anyone. For instance, American Presidents like George Bush, Bill Clinton, among others, have been affected by sex scandals. In Kenya, the case of the Deputy President, the Migori Governor, among others manifest the fact that sex addiction does not care about an individual’s social, economic, or even political status.

It is important to note that sex addiction is unlike alcohol or drug use addiction. That is because sex is difficult to detect as individuals can easily hide their actions concerning the addiction. That is not the case in drug use where it is possible to easily determine those abusing different drugs.

Sex addiction takes place in stages and there are three major stages. From the symptoms indicated in each stage, one can know whether he or she is suffering from sex addiction so that the person can seek counseling or psychotherapy.

Stages of Sex Addiction

In the discussion of the stages, it is important to note that sex is secretive and silent as indicated before. In case the addiction is not treated at any level, it escalates to the next stage.

1.      Level 1 Addiction

Symptoms

1.      Masturbation

2.      Pornography

3.      Multiple sex affairs

4.      Homosexuality

 

2.      Level 1 Addiction

Symptoms

1.      Exhibition-wanting to show private parts in public in order to have sexual arousal.

Dressing should not be influenced by the media.

Exhibition can also be referred to as dressing with sexual vision or dressing for sexual satisfaction.

Some individuals put on miniskirts for sexual reasons yet the youth copy without knowing the reasons behind such actions.

The saying, “my dress my choice” should be converted to “my dress my character” for that matter.

2.      Voyeurism- “Kuchungulia ama kusorora”. It is defined as the practice of gaining sexual satisfaction from looking at others when either naked or even engaging in sexual activity.

3.      Romantic stalking

4.      Frotteurism-is a disorder in which a person derives sexual pleasure or gratification from rubbing, especially the genitals, against another person, usually in a crowd.

3.      Level 1 Addiction

Symptoms

1.      Rape

2.      Incest- sexual intercourse with relatives. E.g. cousins, brothers, sisters, and many others.

3.      Child molestation

4.      Bestiality- sexual intercourse with animals.

Sex Paraphilia

These are problems that are transferred from other stages of sex addiction, especially from stage 2. A paraphilia is a condition in which a person's sexual arousal and gratification depend on fantasizing about and engaging in sexual behaviour that is atypical and extreme. A paraphilia can revolve around a particular object (children, animals, underwear) or around a particular act (inflicting pain, exposing oneself). Most paraphilias are far more common in men than in women. The focus of a paraphilia is usually very specific and unchanging.

A paraphilia is distinguished by a preoccupation with the object or behaviour to the point of being dependent on that object or behaviour for sexual gratification.

Paraphilias include sexual behaviours that society may view as distasteful, unusual or abnormal. The most common are pedophilia (sexual focus on children), exhibitionism (exposure of genitals to strangers), voyeurism (observing private activities of unaware victims) and frotteurism (touching, rubbing against a nonconsenting person), while fetishism (use of inanimate objects), sexual masochism (being humiliated or forced to suffer), sexual sadism (inflicting humiliation or suffering) and transvestic disorder (sexually arousing cross-dressing) are far less common. Some of these behaviours are illegal and those who are under treatment for paraphilic disorders have often encountered legal situations surrounding their behaviours. There is also a category called Other Specified Paraphilic Disorder to cover paraphilias not falling into the already named diagnoses, such as those involving dead people, urine, feces, enemas and obscene phone calls.

Treatment for sex addiction and paraphilia

Treatment approaches include traditional psychoanalysis or psychotherapy, hypnosis, and behaviour therapy techniques. More recently, a class of drugs called antiandrogens that drastically lower testosterone levels temporarily have been used in conjunction with these forms of treatment. The drug lowers sex drive in males and reduces the frequency of mental imagery of sexually arousing scenes. This allows concentration on counselling without as strong of a distraction from the paraphiliac urges. Increasingly, the evidence suggests that combining drug therapy with cognitive behaviour therapy can be effective.

Regarding medication for paraphilias, the level of sex drive is not consistently related to the behaviour of paraphiliacs. Additionally, high levels of circulating testosterone do not predispose a male to paraphilias. That said, hormones such as medroxyprogesterone acetate (Depo-Provera) and cyproterone acetate decrease the level of circulating testosterone, thus reducing sex drive and aggression. These hormones result in a reduction of the frequency of erections, sexual fantasies, and initiation of sexual behaviours, including masturbation and intercourse. Hormones are typically used in tandem with behavioural and cognitive treatments. Antidepressants such as fluoxetine (Prozac) have also successfully decreased sex drive but have not effectively targeted sexual fantasies.

Summary

·         We should always not blame the youth for problems that they have seen from people, even from the other church members, such as sex addiction and other forms of addiction.

·         Many are not raped by thugs or in the road but most rape cases involve members of the extended family and close relatives.

·         If someone keeps calling, texting, or chatting about sex all the time, you are in a wrong relationship.

·         The current society has sexualized everything so that people are never attracted to anything that is not sexual.

·         Being in the church is the right choice.

·         Sex addiction has treatment and anyone who has any of the symptoms can approach a therapist for assistance.

Accompanying Bible verses:

1 Luke 19:41

1 John 2:14